Message not correctly punctuated

While reading today's newspaper, I have been attracted to an advertisement of an institution of higher learning which contains, among other things, the following message:-

At the university, you can attain that added advantage to succeed in life - experienced mentors, unparalleled academic excellence, and our latest addition of a world-class lakeside campus. They all serve to create the ideal learning environment for you. So that you can start ahead, and stay ahead. When you have the edge, it's easier to shine.

The message appears to have been incorrectly punctuated and should have been for easy reading and understanding - At the university, you can attain that added advantage to succeed in life from experienced mentors, unparalleled academic excellence, and our latest addition of a world-class lakeside campus. They all serve to create the ideal learning environment for you so that you can start ahead, and stay ahead. When you have the edge, it's easier to shine.

Kengt, Penang, November 22, 2009